I Think I Have An Idea

The website Gawker has a little thing they do called "The Gawker Stalker" in which people in New York can report their latest celebrity sightings. They go something like this:

Just saw Kato Kaelin on Broadway and Howard St. Was wearing a long black trenchcoat and feathery pimp hat. I was wondering where OJ was?!

The only difference is that instead of Kato Kaeilin we'd be talking about a real celebrity. Now my idea is how about a totally shitty worthless version of Gawker Stalker in the Twin Cities? And instead of celebrities we just follow me around? Yeah!! Okay that was fucking stupid but it allows me to get to my next point.

My complete and utter hatred of US Weekly. Of course there is the paradox and tinge of irony as I point out that by acknowledging US weekly and also by admitting I have looked in it, I am only giving this evil beast more power, but I must once again (pretty sure I've talked about this mutliple times) point out the completely stupid and unessacary "CELEBRITIES THEY ARE JUST LIKE US" segment in every magazine. This is where they should celebrities doing things that are either completely fucking obvious in that they are just like us such as (and these are real examples here):

They shop for cheese! Eva Longoria filled her grocery cart with hot sauce and beans at...blah blah.

HOLY SHIT SHE SHOPS FOR CHEESE!!! NOW I CAN RELATE TO HER!!

On the other hand there are moments where they are not so much like us:

THEY PACK THEIR OWN TRUNK!! Uma Thurman shops til she drops at the Prada store in New York City's SoHo neighborhood, packing her goodies into a yellow cab July 26.

That is identical to my typical day...except I don't shop at prada. I can't even afford a taxi ride. I also don't live in New York, nor do I get to pack any sort of goodies anywhere. So I guess I am just like Uma Thurman minus the beauty, the breasts, the money, the fame, and the ability to live in a very expensive city and shop for top shelf name brand products.

I think the real take away from this entire tirade though is that you now can all laugh at me because you know I have looked at US Weekly more than once.