Let Us Not Have Cows

There is a growing trend in the social media world to post a picture of yourself when you were a baby. I don't do that bullshit. Don't get me wrong, it is fascinating to see what someone looked like when they were young, but ultimately unless you get super skinny or super fat you are basically just yourself but smaller. I think its a real cop out really. If I'm trying to stalk you (yes I said stalk) then I want to see YOU.

Let's not kid ourselves. We stalk people technologically now. People put pictures of themselves doing cool stuff on facebook so others can enjoy. But we all do it too so we can say, "Hey, look at me, I'm out doing cool and interesting stuff and you should like me." I mean...no one posts pictures of themselves abusing animals even if they were genuinely interested in abusing animals. The reason is because they want to appear outwardly that their lives are good and they are in control.

The first 50 seconds of the Social Network trailer sum up everything about Facebook.



Getting back to ME, since this is MY blog. I genuinely like seeing what other people are up to in their lives. Seeing where they are, where they're going, what they're up to. So I guess I'm a 21st century stalker. It also creates interesting and weird situations where you feel like you know a person well even if you haven't talked to them in months. It does let you be a good internet detective if you read between the lines of what people say though.

I'm actually thinking about opening my own business. It would be a photography studio that deals exclusively in profile pictures for all varieties of pictures but its all for Facebook and your Twitter pic and what not. The whole point is we go to places and stage social activities. We would do makeup, we would do lighting, we would do very extreme setups but the whole point is that they all appear candid. SO we'd intentionally have a bit too much of a flash, but it would be controlled so you don't over light and then highlight all your blemishes. And we'd make sure you're appearing to be just looking at the camera after someone called your name but in reality its all very controlled so we avoid giving you a double chin and a weird smile. I'm going to be rich.

Getting back to the baby pictures. Its fine if you've just had a baby and want to post baby pictures. I've given up really. I get it. Once you have a kid it takes over your every waking moment. I MUST EARN MONEY TO PROVIDE FOR BABY. MUST FEED BABY. MUST CHANGE BABY. BABY IS HALF ME SO WHEN IT SAYS SOMETHING FUNNY I AM BEING FUNNY. BABY BABY BABY. I get it. So i'm not going to get pissed when you make your profile picture a baby photograph of your own child. But if you make your profile picture a photo of you when you were two in front of your birthday cake I won't stand for it. I WANT THE GRITTY DIRTY TRUTH!!! For real. Now if you don't mind, I need to go make sure I don't have any baby pictures of my own or else I'll be Mr. Hypocrite.