Dear L.A. Times, Eat Shit

According to my dentist my teeth are kind of jacked. I don't have an cavities which is a plus but I have some sort of enamel or bone loss that is bad. Also bad is that I'm broke (as a mother fucking) joke. How much of this is important? None really. I intend to continue to drink Coke until it rots my teeth away. I hope within the next 15 years they will have some sort of Stem-Cell rub that I can gurgle and make my teeth better.

I'm pretty late to the party but I will say that I just read The Road by one Mr. Cormac McCarthy. Not as harrowing or nightmarish as the hype would have you think, but certainly not the bed time story for little Timmy either.

But enough about me and my pursuits of intellectual freedom. Let's get down to why I'm telling the L.A. Times to "eat shit" and if they have time, go away and "die."

Headline Reads: For the 'funemployed,' unemployement is welcome

Let me sum up this little article for you. People who are rich or had lots of money saved up are not rushing back to getting jobs. I hold no ill will for those who had a great job and then sadly got laid off. If they aren't rushing back to get a job and taking advantage of unemployment then good for them. On the other hand.

"I feel like I've been given a gift of time and clarity," said Aubrey Howell, 29, of Franklin, Tenn., who was laid off from her job as a tea shop manager in April. After sleeping in late and visiting family in Florida, she recently mused on Twitter: "Unemployment or funemployment?"

Seriously? You wrote that on your twitter feed? Funemployment? How about go kill yourself. While we're at it I might note I'm currently working in a job I hate with all my being dealing with rich people who have more money than I have ever earned and or dreamed of in my life all while they treat me like shit and laugh about it and then go buy a 24 dollar organic dog bone for their puppy.


For many younger people, Twenge said, work is less central to their lives. These days, more people than in the 1970s are saying they want jobs with a lot of vacation time, according to preliminary data from Twenge's generational surveys. Younger employees today also are less willing to work overtime. And, when asked if they would quit their jobs if they had money, more are answering "yes," though the majority still say they would continue working.

What a great study. News flash. If you gave me 1 million dollars right now I would sit on my ass and drink and go do fun things. Work is typically shitty and for most people it is merely tolerable and for some lucky folks its actually pretty good with moments of stress.

Deemer, an independent filmmaker who also worked at CNET and about.com, said he actually enjoyed corporate America, up until November when the Internet start-up he was working for failed to get financing. After it tanked, he sold his New York apartment, put his belongings in storage, turned his parents' Beijing home into base camp, and embarked on a spiritual quest to find various mystics and shamans around Asia.

OHH YEAH!!! I'M JUST LIKE ANDY DEEMER. My startup failed bro!!! Now I'm going to use my parents Beijing home as my base camp and go travel around Asia and then I....OH FUCKING WAIT. My parents live in rural Minnesota and they're not rich and I don't even own a fucking car. I'm poor. Guess what. I'm fucking bitter too when I read about people who are having their funemployment time. Do I want the world to give me money and shower me with gifts beyond my wildest dreams of avarice??!?! Yeah, but I know it won't happen. That said, don't patronize me with stupid articles about how fun not having a job is. If I lost my job tomorrow, I'd be fucking terrified about how I'm going to continue to make student loan payments. My savings account is flush with about 12 dollars right now. They say you should have at least 6 months expenses saved away. I have about 2 days worth if I hit up the dollar menu.

To conclude...I'm currently taking donations for my own 'STAYCATION' and 'FUNEMPLOYMENT' time.

NOTE:

STILL EARGERLY AWAITING THE RELEASE OF DR. DRE'S ALBUM DETOX!