Well well well. After a few days off on the ol' blog, Scott's back!!! GET'R'DUNNNN!!!!
Seriously though, there are a few things on my mind. First, the iphone. I love it and there are a ton of games that are coming out that have me excited. Namely, Risk! It doesn't get much nerdier than playing a board game on a cell phone...especially when that game is Risk.
Secondly, what is the deal with bathrooms being locked? I think I might have already ranted on about this but this past weekend I was in a store and the bathroom is locked. I needed to get a token to go use it. Tokens are held by the store employees. In theory this isn't a bad idea. It stops a homeless man or woman from posting up in the bathroom and generally making that place their own shower/human feces wall mural. On the other hand, I just want to piss and you're making me go ask someone. And its always the same song and dance. You walk into the store and pretend to browse the racks for a few minutes. Casually go up to an employee and ask them some unrelated question about some shirt and then you go, "By the way do you have a bathroom token?" Sure, you play it off like it AIN'T NO THANG, but the truth is your forehead and upper lip are sweating. You are tapping your feet and the only look in your eyes is panic because you had to use the bathroom 10 minutes ago but spent the aformentioned 10 minutes pretending to browse instead of urgently rushing up to the nearest employee screaming in baby talk "SCOTT NEED PEEPEE!!!"
In conclusion, all employers please keep bathrooms unlocked.
In second conclusion, don't you hate it when you're in a bathroom that is only a single toilet and you lock the door and then someone comes up to the bathroom door and aggressively starts trying to open the door when its clearly locked. I always fear that its going to be some Andre the Giant size dude who breaks the door open and sees me sitting on the toilet about to take a crap and all we can do is stare at each other for prolonged awkward seconds before he goes, "Ohh, uhh sorry didn't realize someone was in here."
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Parallel Universe
I'll admit, I had no idea there is a Law and Order: UK version (Or as I call it Law and Order: Old Bill Version!) Consider me knackered, gutted, Bob's my uncle, taken the piss out of, ladybird, a nonce, and everything else.
"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate the crime, and the CROWN prosecutors who prosecute the offenders."
If you look online you can find episodes floating around and its just kind of sad. I was expecting Jack Mccoy to show up any minute. Where the fuck is Lenny?!?! At least they still include the obligatory wise crack at the beginning of the episode after coming upon the gruesome death scene. Also, the UK intro music sucks.
"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate the crime, and the CROWN prosecutors who prosecute the offenders."
If you look online you can find episodes floating around and its just kind of sad. I was expecting Jack Mccoy to show up any minute. Where the fuck is Lenny?!?! At least they still include the obligatory wise crack at the beginning of the episode after coming upon the gruesome death scene. Also, the UK intro music sucks.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Straight Up Now Tell Me
At work today this song was on over the internal radio (Technically the song is just called Straight Up). Going to admit and further prove that my taste in music is essentially non-existent (I like nearly everything). Its a catchy song and it is one of several songs that triggers memories of being young and going to the mall with my mom. I know its weird to have this song trigger this memory but I distinctly remember riding in the car/walking through the mall with my mom and hearing this song.
It won't let me embed the video so you'll just have to go watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5A3yF0bjLo
Admit it, when that weird guitar/beat noise kicks in at the 58 second mark you start getting into the song.
I will also say that this video does not suffer nearly as bad as other videos of the late 80's era of being blatantly obvious of being made int he 80's. Abdul's outfit is a bit out there but she looks pretty good and doesn't have crazy ass teased out hair. By shooting in black and white and not day glow electric pink it also avoids crappy color schemes (See Also: Boys of Summer Video Don Henley).
Bonus Depressing Moment of the Day: Walking by a homeless guy laying on the ground as he is vomiting. I mean, there is jack shit I could do for him at the time and me throwing a dollar on him won't make him feel any better and knowing deep down that at one point he was a young boy and that his mother never wanted this for him. Bummer.
It won't let me embed the video so you'll just have to go watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5A3yF0bjLo
Admit it, when that weird guitar/beat noise kicks in at the 58 second mark you start getting into the song.
I will also say that this video does not suffer nearly as bad as other videos of the late 80's era of being blatantly obvious of being made int he 80's. Abdul's outfit is a bit out there but she looks pretty good and doesn't have crazy ass teased out hair. By shooting in black and white and not day glow electric pink it also avoids crappy color schemes (See Also: Boys of Summer Video Don Henley).
Bonus Depressing Moment of the Day: Walking by a homeless guy laying on the ground as he is vomiting. I mean, there is jack shit I could do for him at the time and me throwing a dollar on him won't make him feel any better and knowing deep down that at one point he was a young boy and that his mother never wanted this for him. Bummer.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Fat People - Ha!
I've been watching a lot of BBC programming lately. I get to watch BBC America at work on my break because we have satellite television in the break room and at home I watch it because I have ways to....get it. Either way after seeing a good deal of programming from across the pond, I think I can say without hesitation that English fat people are uglier than American fat people. I'm talking about the entire sum of all parts of fat people in England as opposed to just cherry picking them. I realize America has the fat hillbilly (Appalachian American Species) and the urban fat person (Urbanus Tyranous) but there is something about the English accent and the sad dour look of a fat english person that makes me give them the "ugly edge."
Not to mention most of America tends to forget that England is not just the queen and uhhh "The Tube." You've got a bunch of poor people who only eat fish and chips and drink a lot of beer and those people are a lot fatter and uglier than what we usually see coming from England.
Not to mention most of America tends to forget that England is not just the queen and uhhh "The Tube." You've got a bunch of poor people who only eat fish and chips and drink a lot of beer and those people are a lot fatter and uglier than what we usually see coming from England.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Krav Maga is Officially Overblown/Overexposed
I'm not sure what the tipping point was but I'd say somewhere in late 2007 Krav Maga officially 'blew the fuck up' and is now all over the fucking place. For those who don't know Krav Maga is a fighting style that according to the mythos, is a close quarters fighting style used by the Israeli army. Sounds bad ass right? Close combat fighting where the point is to disable and disarm. You're probably envisioning bad ass fucking combat.
Jump forward to Los Angeles, 2009. I've seen and have taken pictures with my phone (although too lazy to upload them right now) of multiple weird gun/self defense magazines in the past months while browsing the mag racks at Barnes & Noble with covers singing out the praises of Krav Maga. How did I know when this little craze started to jump the shark?? Well first the magazines are a decent give away. Then you had shows like Fight Quest and whatever the fuck the other one that was on TLC...or maybe Discovery and they go out and learn fighting techniques from all over the world and Krav Maga was one of them. I'm not joking when I say I bet in 2004 no one knew what the fuck Krav Maga was....unless you were in the Israeli military or something. All of a sudden I see people with Krav Maga shirts and Krav Maga classes being offered and now its got some sort of bizarro mythos where Krav Maga is fucking badass and the ultimate fighting style when 4 or 5 years ago no one knew what the fuck it was.
In any event, I'm officially declaring this fighting style "OVERBLOWN TREND/FAD OF 2009 THUS FAR." I'm sure there are some hardcore Krav Maga followers who would kick my ass for such insults, but the truth is they'd kick my ass if they had no fighting training.
Jump forward to Los Angeles, 2009. I've seen and have taken pictures with my phone (although too lazy to upload them right now) of multiple weird gun/self defense magazines in the past months while browsing the mag racks at Barnes & Noble with covers singing out the praises of Krav Maga. How did I know when this little craze started to jump the shark?? Well first the magazines are a decent give away. Then you had shows like Fight Quest and whatever the fuck the other one that was on TLC...or maybe Discovery and they go out and learn fighting techniques from all over the world and Krav Maga was one of them. I'm not joking when I say I bet in 2004 no one knew what the fuck Krav Maga was....unless you were in the Israeli military or something. All of a sudden I see people with Krav Maga shirts and Krav Maga classes being offered and now its got some sort of bizarro mythos where Krav Maga is fucking badass and the ultimate fighting style when 4 or 5 years ago no one knew what the fuck it was.
In any event, I'm officially declaring this fighting style "OVERBLOWN TREND/FAD OF 2009 THUS FAR." I'm sure there are some hardcore Krav Maga followers who would kick my ass for such insults, but the truth is they'd kick my ass if they had no fighting training.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Remember When....
Tying things around your waist was cool? Like, you would not actually wear the flannel shirt tied around your waist...you just had it there to look cool? Or am I just misremembering?
Sunday, March 01, 2009
The LA Times is Stupid
The L.A. Times had a little feature on their front page over this weekend that had in actuality probably been sitting there for at least a few days but I just noticed it. It was a list of "Overrated/Underrated" things in general.
Such brilliant points such as, "Underrated - Artistic Integrity: We're respectfully requesting the return of "selling out" as an insult, particularly in terms of music. Yes, times are hard, but the line must be drawn once more. We want to hear artists such as Wilco, Cat Power and Modest Mouse without thinking of a new automobile, and hopefully the next generation agrees." Yeah okay thanks LA Times. Bring back artistic integrity!!!
They also invoke some of my well deserved hatred for having listed one of my greatest pet peeves. Underrated: "Self-imposed TV blackouts: We spent a recent week roughing it away from what Homer Simpson called "television's warm glowing warming glow" and we have to say, it does a body good. There's too much news and entertainment out there to make such decisions permanent -- especially while "Lost" is just starting to make sense -- but it's sobering to remember that TV is a treat, not a whole mea."
First of all I hate when people talk about how they "don't watch tv" and talk about how television makes us dumb and all that bullshit. Secondly, what the fuck is the point of a self-imposed TV blackout? You're not making a statement to anyone and not watching television gains you nothing. If you like watching television then fucking watch it and if you don't like watching a particular show then don't watch it. No one would ever think of applauding me and saying "Wow Scott, you're so progressive" if I said I was boycotting reading for 2 weeks. I could claim there are "too many books out there that are garbage and reading hurts my eyes so I'm just going to step away from books and newspapers and magazines for two weeks because there is too much advertising in print these days." All these those things are true, yet I would be laughed at for boycotting books for two weeks. With that in mind, boycotting or self imposed boycotts of television are inherently idiotitc for a number of reasons. Also later in the same list of Overrated/Underrated they claim HDTV is underrated. Whaaa? Those hypocritical fucks. Even more hypocritical is that they claim "Current TV" is underrated. Although they use the mind numbingly stupid description of TV 2.0 to explain the new wave of good television.
They also claim that Bruce Springsteen is somehow UNDERRATED. I actually think he is completely just RATED. He is in the pantheon of great musical artists and I don't think people think he really sucks now and if you go back through his musical catalog you will find that people are just rating him where he belongs.
Other notably stupid things on this list include "Overrated: Indie Rock Couplings" (Uhhh alright)... "Underrated: Crossword Puzzles - Sodoku is so mid-2000's" (Jesus fucking christ shut up).
In conclusion: Overrated: Newspapers - Go away forever L.A. Times.
Such brilliant points such as, "Underrated - Artistic Integrity: We're respectfully requesting the return of "selling out" as an insult, particularly in terms of music. Yes, times are hard, but the line must be drawn once more. We want to hear artists such as Wilco, Cat Power and Modest Mouse without thinking of a new automobile, and hopefully the next generation agrees." Yeah okay thanks LA Times. Bring back artistic integrity!!!
They also invoke some of my well deserved hatred for having listed one of my greatest pet peeves. Underrated: "Self-imposed TV blackouts: We spent a recent week roughing it away from what Homer Simpson called "television's warm glowing warming glow" and we have to say, it does a body good. There's too much news and entertainment out there to make such decisions permanent -- especially while "Lost" is just starting to make sense -- but it's sobering to remember that TV is a treat, not a whole mea."
First of all I hate when people talk about how they "don't watch tv" and talk about how television makes us dumb and all that bullshit. Secondly, what the fuck is the point of a self-imposed TV blackout? You're not making a statement to anyone and not watching television gains you nothing. If you like watching television then fucking watch it and if you don't like watching a particular show then don't watch it. No one would ever think of applauding me and saying "Wow Scott, you're so progressive" if I said I was boycotting reading for 2 weeks. I could claim there are "too many books out there that are garbage and reading hurts my eyes so I'm just going to step away from books and newspapers and magazines for two weeks because there is too much advertising in print these days." All these those things are true, yet I would be laughed at for boycotting books for two weeks. With that in mind, boycotting or self imposed boycotts of television are inherently idiotitc for a number of reasons. Also later in the same list of Overrated/Underrated they claim HDTV is underrated. Whaaa? Those hypocritical fucks. Even more hypocritical is that they claim "Current TV" is underrated. Although they use the mind numbingly stupid description of TV 2.0 to explain the new wave of good television.
They also claim that Bruce Springsteen is somehow UNDERRATED. I actually think he is completely just RATED. He is in the pantheon of great musical artists and I don't think people think he really sucks now and if you go back through his musical catalog you will find that people are just rating him where he belongs.
Other notably stupid things on this list include "Overrated: Indie Rock Couplings" (Uhhh alright)... "Underrated: Crossword Puzzles - Sodoku is so mid-2000's" (Jesus fucking christ shut up).
In conclusion: Overrated: Newspapers - Go away forever L.A. Times.
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