A Simple Request

We need more dogs telling us what is cool and what is not. Case in point:


On the other hand, good lord almighty does the brand "Big Dogs" really suck. I mean you usually see some dad who hasn't gotten anything nice from his kids in years wearing one of these shirts while he takes his 3 kids to the beach and its hot as fuck out and all he wants to do is sit at home in his air conditioned computer room but no, his kids demand that they go to the beach and its 97 degrees out and his wife is out with her girlfriends today.

This shirt takes really shitty to an entirely new level though. I took this image right off of the "Big Dogs" homepage. Let us immediately cut to chase and examine the "humor" found on this shirt. Well you can see this is just a shirt that is showing my favorite characters from South Park and....oh wait, no it appears this is actually "SOUTH BARK!!!" Clever. They fixed Kenny...not killed him. The characters are now replaced with dogs as well. I should also point out that the plot device of Kenny always getting killed in episodes of South Park has long since been discontinued which on one hand makes this shirt even stupider, but on the other points out that I'm the type of person who would point such things out, thus making me open to ridicule as well. Moving on to the grand finale there is the words in the bottom right hand corner that say "THIS IS PARODY." I don't know if this is actually printed on the shirt or merely a warning on the website (as it is not made clear) but what is clear is that by printing this they officially assume the worst in the buyer. Would one actually believe that this is somehow actually officially related to South Park?! Would a buyer think, "Wow I didn't realize that the creators of the show South Park are now making a show called South Bark in which all characters are all facsimiles of the original, except now in dog form?!" My answer is no and I hope that anyone who actually owns this shirt either promptly burns it or kills themselves because the shame of owning this shirt would drive me to suicide.

It should also be noted that if a parent were to wear this into an area where the general public could see it while they accompanied a child, they should have to give the child up to social services.