Worst Ideas

Once in a while I find myself marveling at some of the amazing things man has created. The iPhone is a phenomenal device. Then there is air conditioning. At some point someone was pissed off about sweating all the time and was thinking, "Man...wouldn't it be cool to be comfortable during the summer?!?!"

On the other hand there are a few things that I used to think were pretty awesome but then I realized they actually suck. This is all a big intro to get you wondering and saying, "But Scott....what are you talking about?!" I am talking about pre-foaming soap.

Did anyone honestly say to themselves, "Yeah I like soap since it cleans my hands, but what is with all that 'rubbing my hands together to get a lather' nonsense?!?" No. No one said that before. I've also realized that the foam (at least in my mind) doesn't clean your hands as well since you're more likely to just rub your hands for a second or two and then just rinse it off. The other bad part about this is the home bottles of foaming soap seem to run out ten times faster than a regular dispenser of regular hand soap.

So screw your foaming soap.

ALSO: I have to admit...I'm actually kind of excited to see this movie.




Before everyone and their mothers starts mocking me I will say in my defense it has 3 things going for it.

1. Daniel Stern is in it. He narrated The Wonder Years. He played foil to Culkin in Home Alone. He was in uhhh, Bushwhacked and uhhhhh some other stuff. Seriously though I like Daniel Stern. Celtic Pride ruled!!

2. Kristen Wiig - an extremely funny and talented lady. Probably the best female comic performer on SNL since the first two or three seasons. Also I think she is totally hot.

3. Ellen Paige - I thought she was great in Juno. I also liked that movie which everyone has conveniently forgotten was actually good since it is now much easier to hate on and mock for its over the top hipsterish stuff. The movie was genuinely good and heartwarming in spite of all the 'honest to blogs'. Also I think Ellen is hot too. I feel weird saying that but she is 22! That said she and Michael Cera might as well just get married and be a couple that is perpetually looking absurdly young and its like "woah aren't they just kids" then you come to realize they are the same damn age as you.

I'm not joking when I say if Ellen Paige walked in to the bar i was at, even though I know how old she actually is, I would be thinking "You can't be in here!!!" Then I would awkwardly fumble around and pretend like I don't know who she actually is all while thinking of clever things I should say. Then she would leave 2 hours later and I would be like, "well there went my golden opportunity to say something clever."