A Joke About How MTV Doesn't Play Videos Anymore

The Year Was 1999. We were all saving up bottled water and canning our favorite preserves for the impending apocalypse that would be wrought upon all those who laughed in the face of Y2K!!! In retrospect people were absolute morons for thinking that if a computer couldn't figure out what date it was that all forms of functioning society would break down and we as a society would be doomed.

MTV in 1999 compiled for those who cared (me) a list of the 100 greatest music videos of all time. Now some of those that made the list were obvious. Number one on the list was Thriller by Michael Jackson. There is no need to elaborate on the impact that this video had on pop culture, mtv, music videos, black representation on mtv, and a whole bunch more. That being number one is fine. With any list there will be arguments. The nature of a "Greatest" or "Best Ever" list is that it spurns debate and fun banter. One could argue that Sabotage should be lower than number 7 on the list....or higher!! That said time has been cruel to a some of these choices. There also are a few extremely egregious examples that nearly 10 years removed from this list are head scratchers now and probably were then. So without further adieu I give you my complaints.

According to MTV the sixth greatest music video ever is Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses. First of all this isn't the best music video by Guns N' Roses. This is just them playing the song in a warehouse/empty theater/stage thing. You obviously know I think November Rain rocks but even Welcome to the Jungle at the very least attempts a story arc. A young impressionable farm boy with that is played by Axl comes to the big bad city with a grain of wheat in his mouth. By the end of the video Axl has been transformed into a badass with teased up hair. Both of these videos make the list Jungle at 26 and November at a respectable 45. All said and done I think Sweet Child should not even be on the list.

Janie's Got a Gun is at 48 and quite frankly this is an insult. It should easily be in the top 20. Directed by one David Fincher the video would be a lock for my top 10 greatest videos of all time if it didn't have Steven Tyler rhythmically crawling and humping the ground at one point. The song itself deals with incest/rape/murder/revenge and the video is cinematic nearly to a fault. One shot in particular of the titular Janie lowering the revolver in a ready to fire sequence. Click Here To See the Video. Fincher makes the list again at Number 49 with Paula Abdul's 'Straight Up' which is a song I have already mentioned I actually like. The song also for whatever reason makes me get nostalgic for some early 90's period where I was probably walking around in the mall with my mom.

The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly) by Missy Elliot is at number 15. Really? 15? After rewatching the video the most interesting thing I can say about this is that she wears a hefty bag and it uses a heavy fisheye. This is what is the 15th best video of all time? I barely remembered this song now. Obviously I'm not exactly the biggest Missy Elliot fan but I don't think that to be qualified to comment on the video I should be. Does anyone remember this video now? No. Do people still remember the music video to A-Ha's Take On Me which is only one stop ahead of this? Yes of course they do.

Number 23 is the video for Mo Money Mo Problems. I don't agree with the placement of this video on the list either but at least with this one you could make an argument for the context that this video emerged from. I'm not speaking contextually in light of Biggie Smalls death in 1997 and the proximity to the making of the list. Rather, if historically we were too look back now and make this same list you could argue that the video itself personifies the unique characteristics of a rap video at the time. Over the top sets, a movie like intro, dancing, and lots of mugging for the camera. It should be pointed out that its obvious that Puff Daddy (his namesake at the time) has no dancing ability.

The Boys of Summer by Don Henley is at number 67. A song I genuinely like but video leaves me feeling two distinct emotions. Inspired by French New Wave I applaud its serious attempts at contextualizing the lyrics of Henley's song. It also has a very distinct. That said it almost takes itself too seriously. Henley popping into the screen at the 33 second mark is rather funny too. In the end though I say bump this video way higher up the list. I'd like this video if it was made right now...but the video was made at a time where music video making for the most part was simply showing the band play the song in a concert. This was made in 1984 for god sake! With that in mind the video always reminds me of the entire summer series of episodes in Saved By the Bell where Zack and crew get a job at the Malibu Sands Beach Club. In fact I'm surprised Saved By the Bell and NBC didn't try to rangle the rights to this song to play over the final summer episodes credits.




I'll complain more later.