This Sucked

Last post was a joke, much like 911. Also I have been making that joke a long time but every since September 11th that joke isn't funny anymore. I am referring to Public Enemies song off of the album 'Fear of a Black Planet.' The song "9-1-1 is a Joke" is a stinging critique of slow response times by police but of course when I say 911 is a joke everyone thinks I'm making a joke about the worst attack in history on American soil.

This leads me to my next point....which I might have already pointed out many years ago and even written about. I really hate it when publications that typically don't cover rap at all either retrospectively review a "classic" rap/hip-hop album and hail its genius/ground breaking nature when the first time around they didn't give a fuck or when a publication that does not give a shit about rap/hip-hop reviews such an album and again hails it as amazing. There is nothing wrong with liking any particular genre of music but...okay lets just drop the false pretenses. I'm pissed at Pitchfork Media again. I go there to get riled up by reading their obnoxious reviews. Their top albums of 2008 are a who's who of indie rockers and artists you think you pretend to have heard of and smashed in between at number 11 is Lil' Wayne. Look, I get that you can like any types of music you want. I am that person who is a music atheist...I like whatever the fuck I like. Still, I find it hard to believe that artists like Frightened Rabbit (Never heard of them) to Cut Copy (no clue who they are) to Hercules and Love Affair (Either I'm completely uncool or just a moron because I don't know who those dudes are either) to Crystal Castles (Never Heard of them either) we have Lil Wayne which all the writers on that site evidently love as well. It smacks false to me. And now I'm just one of the haters but fuck it, I hate them.

And while I'm talking about music, there is nothing worse than the goddamn music snob. At least with literature and film and hell, even videogames there are certain benchmarks of achievement to which a extremely large proportion of the population of both the general populous and the more "elite" and critical audience converge and agree on things. Only music rewards the consumer for finding the more obscure, the rare, and the early find. Music also has the distinction of being the most prone to death by popularity. When an artist either becomes to popular or is deemed to mainstream it is then quickly discarded. Its also the only medium that I can think of where making too much money can actually be a reason to dislike said song/band/whatever.

With sports there is a beautiful simplicity. There are winners, there are losers, and there are stats. There is room for debate but there are at least quantifiable statistics to point to. Michael Jordan won this many titles, Wayne Gretzky has this many assists, and Earl Campbell ran this many yards. If you're debating the merits of a musical artist even if you point to a ringing endorsement of a number of reviews one can shrug this off with a phrase like "They were underappreciated at the time and critics didn't understand the music." While this could be legitimately true, its still annoying. This is why I propose we ban all music under Rule Number 20081: Footloose Rule of 1984 - In Which Dancing and Rock Music are banned.


Two things to wrap this all up: YOU CAN BUY MOTHER FUCKING 70" WAIST PANTS IF YOU CLICK HERE!!!!

And Nature at its Best: