Round 42

Recent things that I find extremely annoying:

1. People who are driving a car in the United States but have a European Union registration plate either on the car or have the EU plate on but with a California plate covering part of the EU plate. There are only a couple reasons why you would have this on your car. One, you just moved to the united states and paid to have your car shipped over here from Europe and haven't been here long enough to get down to the DMV to register for valid California plates. If that is the case I'm giving you a pass. If you've lived here longer than 3 weeks though...go fuck yourself. Don't own a fucking screw driver so you'll put your US plate over the EU plate...fuck you. I mean lets be honest...the only reason why you would keep the EU plate on is because you think it looks cooler and sends off the whole "OHHH LOOK AT ME, I AM CULTURED AND GO TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND DRIVE OTHER PLACES" vibe. Your Volvo station wagon makes you look like a douche, no need to further push the boundaries of all things douche (No offense to all those Volvo owners, they are a safe and dependable car it was just the most recent offender that I saw).

2. The New York Times pushes the boundaries of annoying pretentious shit all the time. Their latest offense you ask? With a headline like: THE SUDDEN CHARM OF PUBLIC SCHOOL you know it was going to be good.

The crux of the article? Back when our roaring economy was soaring like an eagle of freedom rich people could buy houses wherever and send their children to elite private schools! Now with this recession people are shocked to find out that when it comes to public schools, DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU LIVE, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SEND YOUR KID TO A SHITTIER SCHOOL!!! WOW!!!! What will these parents do? Well the logical thing is just send your kid to a public school like everyone else does....what do they actually do? How about renting another property in a zone with a better public school just so you can gain residency in that neighborhood while simultaneously living in your other home. OH DESPAIR YE NEW YORK TIMES READER!!! With quotes like,

“We bought our apartment in 2004,” she said, “and like most new parents we never even thought about the public school zoning issues. We just assumed our son would go to private school.”

“I will certainly consider some alternative way to game the system by gaining a different address,” said the man, who asked to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. “This is my child, who is a really smart kid, and he’s not going to my crummy zoned school. That’s just not going to happen.”

When he and his wife bought their $1.6 million six-room apartment a year and a half ago, they had envisioned his alma mater, a prestigious private school, as the place to send their son. . He and his wife both still have jobs and could probably scrape together the tuition. But their financial optimism has dimmed.

It's no wonder why I hate everyone. Now for the most groan inducing fucking excerpt from the entire fucking article.

Moreover, whereas “saying you’re interested in sending your kids to public schools used to be a taboo among a certain group of people,” Ms. Braddock said. “Now it’s actually kind of cool and in vogue.”

Hear that everyone? I went to a public school and survived...I'm fucking cool and in vouge now. I went to a preschool that was held in a church basement. I'm guessing it wasn't very expensive. Now there are preschools that charge more for a year than my first year of college. Its fucking preschool...you finger paint and drink juice...you don't read Russian literature and debate the merits of stem cell research over a dinner of foie gras. Its often a joke on Colbert about the East Coast liberal Elite...well sometimes this demographic actually exists and it makes me want to punch a baby kitten in its stomach.

For reference the article can be found here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/realestate/05Cov.html?pagewanted=1

3. There are 3 types of people who ride bikes in Southern California.

-The ones who do it out of neccesity because they don't own a car. (You're cool)
-The people who own beach cruisers and like to ride around for fun. (You're also usually cool)
-The people who own a 6000 dollar track bike and wear spandex uniforms to ride up and down San Vicente thinking you're in the tour de france. (NOT FUCKING COOL)