Magazine Racks

You know what is annoying? Well besides the fact that I was crafting a pretty good saved by the bell post but then Youtube started to act a bit wonky with me and I could not find the clips that I wanted to show the world...so instead you get a small rant.

Magazine Racks: We all have been at one. It might have been at the grocery store, might be at a book store, might be at one of those big newspaper/magazine stands and we all know there are certain societal rules that govern how you behave at them.

Rule 1: If you're at a book store, its likely that you can't just take a magazine and then walk to the opposite side of the store to look at it. You are tethered to I would approximate it at about a 25 foot radius. There may be a ledge to sit on or a couple benches that are near that you can sit and consume without paying...but you can't walk around the book store willy-nilly like you can with books.

Rule 2: Don't break the seal. Lots of magazines are in a plastic wrap...and I've never had the balls to break one open to read it/take the complimentary DVD/CD inside it. That said, there might be 6 copies of that magazine and inevitably someone with bigger stones than I has already opened it for the world to see.

Rule 3: You are a pervert. There is usually an "Adult" or even just a Mens section and it typically has the GQ's and Esquire's and devolves into the Maxim's. You'll also get the Playboy's, Penthouses, and the even more uhh erotic magazines. The bottom line? You can look at the GQ all you want and it might have a nice photo shoot of some Hollywood starlet but you don't want to be caught looking into even the Maxim while you're out in public. Why? Because you don't want a woman you like (or perhaps you're at a store with a woman) to see you looking at this magazine. She will think you're just being a pervert even though I think she is being a bit hypocritical because they (women) can read their Womens magazines with impunity where every they want.

Secrets to Mind Blowing Sex with Your Man is okay but looking at a chesty model...not okay.

Which leads me to my next point...airport magazine sales. Who is it that actually decides to buy a porn magazine in the airport. Besides the inevitable awkward exchange at the cash register...what do you actually plan on doing? On a transatlantic flight? Going to bust out your Jugg's Magazine next to the 67 year old Latvian woman sitting next to you?

Rule 4: When actually buying a magazine, you always pick the 2nd or 3rd magazine to the back. I don't like buying a magazine that has already been ravaged by readers. I like mine crisp and fresh.

Conundrum 1: There are these fashion magazines that are something like 35 dollars or more. I don't get it. Who actually buys these? Sometimes I think they're fashion and advertising magazines and one time I saw a "magazine" that cost 135 dollars. What the fuck?

Conundrum 2: Why does it seem like the European versions of the magazines I read here are so much better? The articles seem funnier and fresher. The mens magazines in Europe are full of nudity!! Bottom line is the British version of GQ seems more legitimate.