Where Kevin Bacon Goes, Crappier Sequels Without Him Follow

By now we all know the whole 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' thing. The concept is simple. Kevin Bacon is a god. Within six steps one should be able to link him to any other actor or actress.

Something that I have stumbled upon though is that Kevin Bacon is pretty awesome, but what happens when Kevin Bacon moves on? What is left in his massive wake? As it turns out the only thing Kevin Bacon leaves is a nuclear fallout that mutates movies. Ones he was originally in are now shittier sequels that no longer feature Bacon but instead its usually a motley crew.

EVIDENCE: Tremors

Kevin Bacon stars in this really awesome movie where a town in the middle of no where Nevada fights subterranean worm things called Graboids. Reba McEntire is in it. Needless to say this movie is pretty awesome. I should probably go in depth and provide a review but that is for another time. Shocking to say but Tremors spawned 3 sequels and a TV show all without Kevin Bacon. So far the 'Bacon Theory' holds true.

EVIDENCE PART 2: Wild Things

There will be no lies. Denise Richards gets naked in this movie. We all know that. What you might not know is that this film spawned two sequels. Wild Things 2 and Wild Things: Diamonds in the Rough. Guess how many of the Wild Things 'Thrillogy' had Kevin Bacon in it? If you guessed only the first one you would be absolutely correct. On a side note, I would argue that Wild Things actually has Bill Murray in one of his better later career roles where he is legitimately funny and not trying to be very serious and somber as much of his later career has been.

EVIDENCE PART 3: Hollow Man

If you thought being invisible might be fun you'd be wrong. As it turns out turning invisible makes you super strong, super perverted, and super rapist. Kevin Bacon turns invisible and Josh Brolin and Elisabeth Shue must defeat him. I'm not making any jokes either. Turns out if you become invisible you just become a gigantic pervert. Anyways another Direct-To-Video sequel known as Hollow Man 2 would come out a few years later. You know you're going down hill when Kevin Bacon is now replaced with Christian (I Once Had A Promising Career but Some Where Along the Lines I Just Started To Suck Ass) Slater. He was cool in Heathers, I will give him that. Okay, Broken Arrow is a guilty pleasure of mine as well but anyways. Bacon once again leaves in his wake a terrible sequel sans Bacon.

EVIDENCE PART 4: Balto

According to Wikipedia, "Balto is a wolf-dog, shunned by both humans and dogs in Nome. His only friends are Boris, a Russian goose, and Muk and Luk, two polar bears. Balto and Boris live on a grounded boat outside Nome, while Muk and Luk are occasional visitors."

Balto happens to be voiced by Kevin Bacon. Balto II: Wolf Quest and Balto III: Wings of Change also star the titular title character Balto. Balto is not voiced by Kevin Bacon in the two sequels. Neither of the two sequels got a theatrical release either. Balto was released in 1995. I have nothing witty or interesting to say about Balto. Therefore I will say this, I liked The Air Up There.

EVIDENCE PART 5 (Stretching It Here): Friday the 13th

Kevin Bacon stars in the first of 232 Friday The 13th movies. He dies in this one so it really isn't fair that he isn't in the sequels but to fair, he dies in Wild Things and Hollow Man (OR DOES HE?!?) as well. That said, movies always resurrect dead people so I won't be fair. I'm making this theory and as such, I say what the rules are.

If I wanted to stretch it even further, National Lampoon's Animal House laid the groundwork for all the shitty National Lampoon's Movies that came after it. So in a way anything with that moniker without Kevin Bacon further emphasizes how Bacon moves on and shittier stuff follows.

Anomaly: Beauty Shop

Working in reverse order the film Barbershop starring Ice Cube came out in 2002. In 2004 Barbershop 2: Back in Business is released. In that film a character known as Gina played by Queen Latifah is introduced. Finally in 2005 the film Beauty Shop is released. A full fledged vehicle starring Latifah has her opening her own 'Beauty Shop'. In this film Kevin Bacon plays a flamboyant self centered hair stylist. I'm not sure if Beauty Shop is actually better than Barbershop or worse. Or maybe the same. This doesn't quite fit the Bacon theory but at the very least it proves that the Bacon theory can be somewhat flexible.

In conclusion, Kevin Bacon is really good in Apollo 13. I like that movie. I also like The Air up There.