The Revolution Is Here (Will Not Be Broadcast to Pacific Time Zone)

So, I think I'm going to get the new iPhone. It has fucking GPS in it!!! Now when I'm lost I can tell you exactly where I am lost.

It has also come to my attention that K-Mart is now selling abstinence sweatpants. Just let that sink in. Sorry, I cracked a smile. Well evidently in the place where normal sweatpants would say JUICY (this also confuses me) or PINK (I could make another joke) the K Mart sweatpants say True Love Waits. Besides the fact that if you were a girl.......or guy who wore these you'd probably be immediately ostracized from any sort of social groups cool or otherwise, you would also be admitting that you shop at K-Mart. I mean come on, I shop at Target. Target has some nice stuff actually, but admitting you shop at K-Mart, well jesus that is just bad.

I mean when I think of K-Mart I think of the poorly lit, hilariously dungeon esque, frightening K-Mart on Lake Street. You know the one I'm talking about. The one that was actually built to interrupt a major thoroughfare in Minneapolis and in turn segregating a large portion of the Minneapolis population. I've actually been in that one a few times and its fucking depressing. Where as Wal-Mart always has the dirty feel, where even as they are buffing the floors at 2am as you walk in, you just get that vibe yelling at your brain "THIS PLACE SUCKS" imagine that only x1000. This K-mart is really fucking depressing. The people who shop and work there know it too...I think the entire store is actually lit with 3 lightbulbs that were smuggled out of some 3rd World refugee camp to really sell the whole "this place sucks" mood.

Getting back to the topic though...sweatpants that is. Man if I had a daughter there is no way in fuck I would let her wear sweatpants that said anything along the ass except "Stay the fuck out." Also, according to google I guess the whole "PINK" brand is actually coming from Victoria's Secret. Now I don't mind the random commercial with huge breasts and unatainably attractive women but I do oppose the idea that sweatpants should say PINK along the ass. Why not for example, BROWN? Get it...a poop joke.

FIN