LIVE BLOG YO

I am reporting to you live from LAX international airport. Luckily there happens to be a free wireless hotspot amongst the sea of pay services. First of all I would like to give a huge fuck you to the blond woman who was at the security checkpoint. You were an asshole and annoying an all around cunt to many old people. Although you did smile at me. (SCORE)

Secondly a big fuck you to the fat fucking dude who yelled at some other woman who was in the security checkpoint waiting for her stuff to come through the Xray. I did notice that besides your massive man tits you were wearing sweatpants (lame) and you could not be bothered to nicely ask the woman who by the way couldn't speak a word of english to move so instead you just said "Jesus christ lady get the hell out of the way." You're a fucking fatass dude who I then saw take an elevator as opposed to mounting the one flight of stairs. Good job you.

Thirdly, LAX is such a shitty airport, but at least as of now my flight is still on time (unlike last time I was in LAX) and the carpet doesn't smell like piss. I'm also getting free wireless and there is some sort of cool "Charging station" that I'm typing from right now. If any other mind blowing shit happens, you'll hear about it.

Update 1: 10:38pm Pacific Standard Time - I'm right next to a gate that is servicing some French airliner. I know this because a woman over the loudspeaker was speaking French. Also there is a large amount of good looking well dressed men and women. Not overweight dumpy people who are wearing disneyland shirts and sweatpants.

Update 2 11:03 PST - I swear if I end up having to sit next to this really fat guy who just walked by I will be upset. If this was a cartoon I'm pretty sure he'd have those visible stink lines wafting above his head. Also this stand they have for "Charging" really fucking sucks because the platform you set stuff on is up to about my crotch. I have to either bend over or get on my knees to see the screen (insert sexual joke). Also a huge group of people are running right now to the gate for the flight to France. It reminded me of Home Alone when the family needs to catch the flight. Except way dumber because no one had a Talk Boy with them.

3: 11:10pm PST - Evidently someone is sharing music over iTunes sharing and I have stumbled upon it. User name: Mrs. Mariano.

They have Ace of Base (SCORE!) Boyz II Men (SCORE!!!) Celine Dion (ehhhh) Lots of sermons...I think? Pastor Judah Smith??? They have R. Kelly also, which is funny because he pisses on people.