SOUTH COAST TOYOTA

Well. You might have thought I gave up. No more witty analysis on stupid shit. Well you were wrong. I'm back in full effect. And this time the comeback isn't a highly staged attention grab.

I do find it comforting in this day and age that if I'm trying to find something that I vaguely recall from some bygone time, it is probably on the internet. I was just talking with a friend of mine online and we were discussing annoying commercials (both radio and television) that are completely local things. And what did I do? I went to youtube, searched "SOUTH COAST TOYOTA" and the first video to appear is someone taking a video in their car while on the radio the 'South Coast Toyota' song plays. This would have been impossible ten years ago. For one, I'm not even in the Los Angeles area where this is playing. I could only mention it in passing about how when I lived in Los Angeles there was some annoying commercial. Today I can mention it and my friend across the country can watch it.



Which reminds me that I was reading The Economist while sitting in the bathroom the other day and they had a very pretentious section. It was an insert in The Economist that was labeled Intelligent Life. It was essentially a mini art section special that they had inserted. Talking about Andy Warhol and his true worth and other such non-sense. JUST TELL ME ABOUT HEDGE FUNDS IN ASIA! But anyhow, in one section they had an article asking the age old time travel question, "What was the best time, and place, to be alive? More in depth answers from the article I'm talking about can be found here: http://moreintelligentlife.com/

Of course they're all pretentious and shitty answers. Lucy Kellaway says she would want to be in America around 15,000 BC. She is the management columnist at the Financial Times.

"Hunter-gatherers were far more equal than us - men and women, rich and poor. They spent time on things modern life does not encourage: chatting, playing with children and having sex with more than one person."

Now my early human history is a bit sketchy but nothing about 15,000 BC or anytime around then sounds particularly enjoyable. Increased technological advances like finer flint tools and harpoons began appearing. This was also a time of massive climate change for the colder. Nothing like living during the time when massive ice sheets blanketed most of the earth. Ice covering all of Canada and pushing down through the upper half of present day United States really wants to make me fuck. She's right though. Everyone was much more equal. IN that all humans were in a constant life or death struggle and one broken ankle out on a days hunt could mean you would die cold, alone, and starving. There would be plenty of time for chatting between the daily struggle of surviving against your fellow man and natures cold uncaring spectre that threatened your every day existence and which drove you in a constant pursuit of food, shelter, and if time permitted procreating. 15,000 BC also predates the Neolithic Revolution which means that the ability to live an agrarian life of semi sustainable subsistence farming had yet to occur. Have fun tracking the wild herds of animals across great swaths of land.

Just me talking but I'd settle for right now. Not fifty years ago, not thirty years ago, but today. I like living today knowing what I know. I like the endless diversions in so called mindless entertainment. I like not having to sit under a darkened sky in a cave in the middle of nowhere contemplating how I will hunt better the next day as my stomach rumbles and shakes because myself and my clan have been unable to track the herd of deer we've been following for weeks. I enjoy the fact that the compound fracture in my right arm isn't a death sentence. I like checking my iphone all the time to see if someone said something funny. There was no time for sarcasm when a saber toothed cat could rip me to shreds. I am here right now because we are homo sapiens. "The Wise man" or "knowing man" in Latin. We have opposable thumbs. We build. We dream. And right now is as good a time as any.

We also wheez the juice.