I was at the bar yesterday enjoying myself. It was Sunday. I was hoping for a peaceful drink or two followed by some introspection while I listen to some tunes on the jukebox. Lets make one thing clear. I don't mind chatting to people at the bar, but we all know that there are the dudes and on occasion dudettes who are too fucking loud, too annoying, and have no social tact.
Well the mother fucking guy looked like Branscombe Richmond but a lot more haggard. If it was really you Branscombe I apologize. Either way I'm chilling and I'm talking with the bartender and he goes on to comment about how I'm a funny guy. Then he indicates that while I'm funny the difference between myself and himself is that I would freeze up if I was demanded to be funny but he wouldn't because he is a performer...or something. Later he would talk about how he went to high school with Paris Hilton's mom and how she was a total bitch at their high school reunion. Even later he would engage with a few people on why Goldman Sach's was a piece of shit and started engaging in politics. It was exciting.
He was wearing cowboy boots too and had a big gold nose ring like a pirate. Another day, another dollar.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Manute Bol is Dead
Allegedly, Charles Barkley has told a story about how Manute Bol tied his own penis in to a knot in the locker room.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
FO GET WUT U HERRRDDD
If you don't like Gordon Ramsay you suck. In danger of sounding snobbish, the shows he has that air over in the UK on Channel 4 are so much better than the ones that air here on Fox. Kitchen Nightmares and The F Word are two of my favorite shows.
The US version of Kitchen Nightmares is garbage. It's overproduced with a lame voice over. In the US version they help redo the restaurant by typically completely remodeling the restaurants (on the shows dime, not the owners) and install new equipment. In the UK version its a much simpler less stripped down version. It's got that English refinement you'd come to expect from something like an Aston Martin.
It's more than Ramsay yelling at people. He tears them down in the grand tradition of a drill sergeant and then rebuilds them. He cares. He just happens to swear. I suggest you check out some of the episodes on youtube. They're there. Fun times.
Although I admit I'll watch Hell's Kitchen in a terrible sort of way.
The US version of Kitchen Nightmares is garbage. It's overproduced with a lame voice over. In the US version they help redo the restaurant by typically completely remodeling the restaurants (on the shows dime, not the owners) and install new equipment. In the UK version its a much simpler less stripped down version. It's got that English refinement you'd come to expect from something like an Aston Martin.
It's more than Ramsay yelling at people. He tears them down in the grand tradition of a drill sergeant and then rebuilds them. He cares. He just happens to swear. I suggest you check out some of the episodes on youtube. They're there. Fun times.
Although I admit I'll watch Hell's Kitchen in a terrible sort of way.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Celtics vs. Lakers
I write this moments before game seven is about to start. I'd like to first say that I'm completely indifferent on who wins this game. The closest thing that I have to a personal connection to either team is that the Los Angeles Lakers were once the Minneapolis Lakers and that Kevin Garnett was once on the T-Wolves. I was happy to see KG win a title with Boston, but at this point I don't really care.
I would like to reach out with an olive branch of peace to all the Laker fans out there. They get an undeserved rap as being front runners, fair weather, and being non-passionate/knowledgeable. Like any good franchise that has a gigantic history of winning, the fans are demanding. When they complain about not winning the title, one has to put it in to the context that they are used to winning a lot more. Does this mean they're obnoxious and I don't like them? Yes. But it certainly makes some sense. They're like the Yankees. They are expected to win, so if they lose out in the first round of the playoffs fans are going to be disappointed. As opposed to say, the Detroit Lions and their fans...where if they have a winning record this coming year it would be cause for celebration.
Really when it comes down to it, I don't really find the Celtics all that likable either. Prior to the 'big three' trade, Boston fans were going ape shit about how bad they were. They were openly rooting for them to tank so they could get the first overall pick in the draft lottery and when that didn't happen people were pissed. Then they lucked in to the current line up they have now, won a title, and the bandwagon was back on track. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with the teams with bandwagons. A successful team will attract new fans. That is how things work. I just get annoyed since in the last 10 years the New England sports area has had nearly unparalleled success. So their fans bitching about anything is annoying. In the Bruins, Celtics, and Red Sox they have some of the most historically storied franchises of all time. With the Patriots, they've had insane success lately as well. Cry me a river that one of your sports teams isn't winning a title every year.
My policy is that if you're a team that is within 250 miles of the Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, or the southern border of the United states, I probably hate your team a lot.
I would like to reach out with an olive branch of peace to all the Laker fans out there. They get an undeserved rap as being front runners, fair weather, and being non-passionate/knowledgeable. Like any good franchise that has a gigantic history of winning, the fans are demanding. When they complain about not winning the title, one has to put it in to the context that they are used to winning a lot more. Does this mean they're obnoxious and I don't like them? Yes. But it certainly makes some sense. They're like the Yankees. They are expected to win, so if they lose out in the first round of the playoffs fans are going to be disappointed. As opposed to say, the Detroit Lions and their fans...where if they have a winning record this coming year it would be cause for celebration.
Really when it comes down to it, I don't really find the Celtics all that likable either. Prior to the 'big three' trade, Boston fans were going ape shit about how bad they were. They were openly rooting for them to tank so they could get the first overall pick in the draft lottery and when that didn't happen people were pissed. Then they lucked in to the current line up they have now, won a title, and the bandwagon was back on track. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with the teams with bandwagons. A successful team will attract new fans. That is how things work. I just get annoyed since in the last 10 years the New England sports area has had nearly unparalleled success. So their fans bitching about anything is annoying. In the Bruins, Celtics, and Red Sox they have some of the most historically storied franchises of all time. With the Patriots, they've had insane success lately as well. Cry me a river that one of your sports teams isn't winning a title every year.
My policy is that if you're a team that is within 250 miles of the Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, or the southern border of the United states, I probably hate your team a lot.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting
At least according to Elton John. Although its hard to imagine John going out on the town, getting drunk, and then thinking "Hey, I want to kick someones ass!" Saturday night is also a good night to stay in and blog....right? Being broke and tired has that effect on me.
Riding my bike on the beaches of Santa Monica today and who do I see but one Kate Beckinsale (along with her family) as the prepared for a little bike ride. No, I didn't say anything to them nor did I try to get a photo. What I did recognize is that I'm a revoltingly ugly troll compared to her. I know we're not comparing my male beauty to her female beauty, but on a sliding scale from horrible burn victim up to Greek god or goddess, I fall somewhat further down the sliding scale where as she is pretty high up on the goddess factor. Sure, it might have to do with the fact that she is a highly paid actress who when not acting can work out all the time and eat extremely healthy because she probably has someone monitoring her diet to some degree, but none the less the chasm of beauty is at an all time high.
Speaking of Saturday, another Saturday Night Live Season has ended. This ain't YO DADDIES SNL. By that I mean it was neither a spectacular season nor was it a horrific season. Of course the usual refrain is that SNL sucks or is slipping when in fact, that is always the accusation of a long running television show. If you go back and look at the news group postings about The Simpsons nerds were flipping their shit as early as Season 3 saying, "It's just not as good as it used to be." If only they knew how far things would go.
Anyhow, SNL is always allegedly bad. With time we can look back and look and see where it was legitimately bad and struggling but I think that you have a lot of strong performers in the cast right now. The biggest issue that springs to my mind is that the constant Obama/Political cold opens have to stop. For one thing, they're typically not that compelling. Say something, be controversial, call Obama a piece of shit or something. A seven minute cold open with Obama addressing the country and vaguely pokes fun at himself is about as fun as watching the real Obama address the country. There was a time when SNL was essentially the only bastion of political satire that would reach huge audiences. That time is obviously over. From the endless line of blogs, pop culture websites, and fake news (Colbert, Stewart) SNL fights a losing battle for the most part. They cannot be as timely nor are they usually as incisive. Although they can still be massively culturally relevant. One has to look no further than Tina Fey's Sarah Palin. I knew that shit was huge when my dad of all people mentioned it to me in a phone conversation. I think this is the first time my dad has ever even mentioned SNL or anything comedy related so I knew it was big.
So please Saturday Night Live, move away from the constant political cold opens. Also, do not fire/cut any of the current female cast.
Riding my bike on the beaches of Santa Monica today and who do I see but one Kate Beckinsale (along with her family) as the prepared for a little bike ride. No, I didn't say anything to them nor did I try to get a photo. What I did recognize is that I'm a revoltingly ugly troll compared to her. I know we're not comparing my male beauty to her female beauty, but on a sliding scale from horrible burn victim up to Greek god or goddess, I fall somewhat further down the sliding scale where as she is pretty high up on the goddess factor. Sure, it might have to do with the fact that she is a highly paid actress who when not acting can work out all the time and eat extremely healthy because she probably has someone monitoring her diet to some degree, but none the less the chasm of beauty is at an all time high.
Speaking of Saturday, another Saturday Night Live Season has ended. This ain't YO DADDIES SNL. By that I mean it was neither a spectacular season nor was it a horrific season. Of course the usual refrain is that SNL sucks or is slipping when in fact, that is always the accusation of a long running television show. If you go back and look at the news group postings about The Simpsons nerds were flipping their shit as early as Season 3 saying, "It's just not as good as it used to be." If only they knew how far things would go.
Anyhow, SNL is always allegedly bad. With time we can look back and look and see where it was legitimately bad and struggling but I think that you have a lot of strong performers in the cast right now. The biggest issue that springs to my mind is that the constant Obama/Political cold opens have to stop. For one thing, they're typically not that compelling. Say something, be controversial, call Obama a piece of shit or something. A seven minute cold open with Obama addressing the country and vaguely pokes fun at himself is about as fun as watching the real Obama address the country. There was a time when SNL was essentially the only bastion of political satire that would reach huge audiences. That time is obviously over. From the endless line of blogs, pop culture websites, and fake news (Colbert, Stewart) SNL fights a losing battle for the most part. They cannot be as timely nor are they usually as incisive. Although they can still be massively culturally relevant. One has to look no further than Tina Fey's Sarah Palin. I knew that shit was huge when my dad of all people mentioned it to me in a phone conversation. I think this is the first time my dad has ever even mentioned SNL or anything comedy related so I knew it was big.
So please Saturday Night Live, move away from the constant political cold opens. Also, do not fire/cut any of the current female cast.
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