An Open Letter

Supposed to be doing a paper...so instead I'll blog. I present you an Open Letter to Robin Williams:

Dear Mr. Williams,

Stop being in movies and polluting our lives. The only thing more frightening than your hyper insane rants on late night talk shows that are a cross between a coke induced fervor and the mumblings of that homeless guy who hangs out around campus is that you are way hairier than that homeless guy. You on occasion manage to entertain, but then I realize you did Bicentennial Man and it makes me hate you again. I'll admit, I liked you in The Birdcage. Awakenings was pretty good too. So let me say that this is not an outright hate fest directed at you. I also hear you are a big videogame nerd...which is cool. Oh damnit this is turning into an apologist letter...so to get back to where I was I don't like you being the freaky photo guy. I don't like you being the wacky doctor. I certainly didn't like how the previews for License to Wed looked as they were plastered all over LA when I visited last time. What I'm trying to say is when are we getting the sequel to your movie Toys?

Also time for a brief confession. I while working at Blockbuster often read US Weekly. That magazine was actually pretty awesome in that my favorite part of every new US weekly was obviously the "THEY'RE JUST LIKE US" in which celebrities are photographed 24/7 and at some point during this constant surveillance it turns out they do things just like the common scum like myself who read it. Things like "JENNIFER ANISTON IS JUST LIKE US BECAUSE SHE CLUTCHES A PAPER UNDER HER ARM WHILE OPENING HER CAR DOOR." She is also just like us in that her car costs 92,000 dollars and she lives in a 9 million dollar Malibu mansion half the year! Or maybe its something like "THAT CHICK FROM THE OC DRINKS BIG COFFEES FROM STARBUCKS JUST LIKE US!!!" Its pretty illuminating. As it turns out celebrities aren't robots....well except Howie Mandel...that guy is a robot.

P.S. Dear Landlord,

Turn the heat up or I will die.