Am I sick or what?

So today I'm walking down the street towards class. Of course its the classic man vs. machine. I walk when the sign clearly says "WALK." Of coures a car decides to start to turn and has to stop mid intersection. At that point I was kind of wishing the car would hit me enough where I flew up on the hood and fell to the ground. My line of thinking was that I would just flop to the ground and not move. Hopefully said motorist would pull over and come up to me. At that point I would jump up and do one of two things.

1) Motorist is female (hopefully younger and was on cell phone): I would jump up right when she got near and fly off the handle. I would swear and swear and swear and swear and tell her she is dumb etc. I would grab her cell phone and throw it down on the ground and make her cry.

2) Motorist is male: I would get up and quickly and swiftly hit them in the groin and then swear at them something to the effect of "Don't Funk with me" and then walk off.

Of course there would be option 3 where in fact I actually die....or its just an old person who shouldn't be driving anyways. Luckily, or maybe unluckily the car stopped and that was all. My fantasies of exploding and causing a scene were denied.